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5.28.2004
Another Week... Another Lesson Learned Posted by:: Jessie J At:: 11:22:24 pm
Well, after much searching to find the right words to say, I think I have found them in a song. "Hanging On" by Everyday Sunday... I shall provide the lyrics...
God Im in this place again.
Im trying so hard not to fall
But everything keeps coming down with the rain
And I try so hard I forget to call
Everybody's looking around and wants to be found
And Im just hanging on, I give You all that I am
Everybody's looking around and wants to be found
And Im just hanging on, I give You all that I am
I come to You with all that I am.
I bring to You all that I have.
And all I have is nothing and I keep on trying
And all I want is You
Everybody's looking around and wants to be found
And Im just hanging on, I give You all that I am
Everybody's looking around and wants to be found
And Im just hanging on, I give You all that I am
And I just stand here in the midst of You
I come to You I come with all that I am
And I just stand here in the midst of You
I come to You I come with all that I am
Everybody's looking around and wants to be found
And Im just hanging on, I give You all that I am
Everybody's looking around and wants to be found
And Im just hanging on, I give you all that I am.
All that I am... And Im barely hanging on.
And Im barely hanging on... I give You all that I am
Ok, I think I screwed that up a bit, but you get the drift. It relates to me.. especially the beginning where it says "God Im in this place again, Im trying so hard not to fall, but everything keeps coming down with the rain, and I try so hard I forget to call.." With my uncle dying, it does put me in the place I've been before... many times actually and I am trying hard not to fall. I wasn't close to him at all, but with everything that has happened with our family, it's hard... and it's hard to call out to my Savior at times like these. Especially when I put into aspect that no one really seemed to care. (Kadie, you were in Cedar Point, therefore exempt from all charges... lol) I just really needed someone there and I had no where to turn. I kept asking God "Why?.... Why doesn't anyone care?" Maybe it's because He is telling me to just rely fully on Him instead of always expecting people to be there. I had one person send a card... Thanks Brandi... and to be honest, with all the deaths our family has had, that is the ONLY thing anyone has ever done for me. I thought maybe I was being selfish at first, and maybe I am. But I feel I have a right to be. So what if no one knew who my uncle was... you don't go to funerals because of the person who died... you go for those left behind. Actually one of my friends told me that before and guess what, they didn't seem to care much about what happened last week. It didn't help at all that on the day of the funeral my one uncle decided not to show and my other uncle started yelling at his wife about something stupid. Out of 9 people in my dad's family there are only four left... my dad and his three brothers and now one of those brothers is trying to put a strain in the relationship with the other three. They DO NOT need that right now!!! I don't know how anyone can be so cruel and not even show up for their brother's own funeral. Not to mention my aunt, the one who my other uncle had a confrontation with at the graveside service, decided to yell at my OTHER uncle and call him names and stuff ON THE DAY OF THE FUNERAL because her husband wouldn't go to make the arrangements for the funeral because he had a "job to do up north." IT'S YOUR BROTHER'S DEATH FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!! He needed to be with the family members he has left. I knew that something bad was going to happen that day. Im the one in the family who is usually strong when it comes to things like this, but I think this time, I really had it. Im tired of being strong and always holding in my emotions and being the strength in the family since I am always on my own when it comes to support. I think also Im stressed because last Friday I found out about my uncle, so a ton of people were at my house the whole weekend and I had Kadie's party on Saturday, we cleaned the entire house on Sunday, the showing was Monday, not to mention I went in to school and helped a friend get caught up on stuff, Tuesday was the funeral and I had to work, Wednesday I had to work, Thursday I had to work, but went home sick because I thought I was going to puke, then I felt better and ended up going out to graduation, and today I had to work, as well as tomorrow. Then Im going up north. I just need some time to myself I think. Some time alone with God.. to get my relationship with Him back in order before I start taking matters in to my own hands and making relationships with other people. I guess Im just hanging on. I have to remember what God promises... that He will never leave me nor forsake me. I need to hang on to Him, to cling to Him when no one else seems to care and I have no where to turn. I admit, I was, and am, really hurt about what happened last week, but I think I have to look passed that. I have all that I need in my relationship with Christ. Sometimes I seek for more, but I think that is human nature. We are never satisfied with what we have... we always want more. But Im going to go to Him with all that I have and give Him all that I am... that is all I have left.
5.21.2004
Eck! I Need More Hours!!!!!!!!! Posted by:: Jessie J At:: 10:30:33 am
Well, I got my first paycheck yesterday... a measly $99.47. Ok, yeah... it's better than what I was making ($0.00) but still... I feel like I worked forever last week. Oh, and another thing. I thought I started out at $5.50 an hour, and I found out that I start out minimum wage when I got my check. But, I heard from a lot of people that you get raises fast. A girl I work with started in September and she said that she is already making $6.00. At McDonald's, after six months you get an evaluation AND THEN you MIGHT get a raise. I need another job, desperately!!!
I rescheduled my tanning appointment for 4:30 instead of 12:00. I want to go back to bed. I was up until almost 2:00 painting. I got ALL the trim done and it sucked because I even had to put a second coat on that. Then I started repainting the walls. I got two of them done and couldn't handle being awake anymore... at least I thought. So I washed all the paint stuff then took a shower. When I got in bed, I couldn't fall asleep for the life of me. I don't know what the problem was. I probably didn't get to sleep until 3:30 or almost 4:00 in the morning and was wide awake at 10:00 this morning. I went to my aunt's house yesterday and saw how she painted her room and kitchen. She took one of those shower poof thingies and dabbed white paint over the solid colors. It looks SO sweet and I decided that, even though I like the color of my room now, I am going to do that. I might do it a little less though so you would be able to see more of the mountain majesty color. Oh, and Kadie... if you read this THANK YOU SO MUCH again for helping me paint my room on Wednesday!!
Tomorrow is a busy day. I have a wedding at 12:00 (Corbin, my nephew, is in it. He's the ringbearer and my sister in law is the maid of honor) then Im heading out to MWC to help Kadie with her party. Im excited for it! I don't know what Im going to get her though. Im going into town after I get done tanning. Whatever I come up with I hope she likes it. Well, I think Im going to go lay back down again. Bye for now and God Bless!!!
~Jess
5.18.2004
With My Last Dying Breath, I'd Apologize For Bleeding On Your Shirt Posted by:: Jessie J At:: 2:51:16 pm
Well, I worked on my room right when I got up this morning... well afternoon. If you read my LiveJournal you will understand why I got up so late. I got so frustrated with my dad though. He won't let me sleep! I haven't been sleeping well at all... I never sleep the night through. I hate it! Then he comes in like 5 times and tells me to get up and do something when I was up until 2:00 this morning getting stuff out of my room and sanding the walls.
On a lighter note, I finished getting most of the border off my walls. I just have the indent inbetween my two closets to finish. My dresser is there right now, and since I have absolutely no where to put it right now, I am not sure what Im going to do. I put a little bit of paint on my walls to see what it was going to look like... I really like it! The border kept pulling the paint off my walls so I have a whole ton of sanding to do tonight. Im pretty sure I'll be able to start painting tomorrow... and Kadie if you are reading this, Im going to call you tonight to let you know for sure. Ok, well my computer is being dumb and every few letters, it keeps switching between windows and stuff so Im going to go. I can't handle this... hehe. Bye for now and God Bless!
5.11.2004
Posted by:: Jessie J At:: 12:18:31 pm
My first day as a grocery clerk went well. It's pretty fun scanning the food. It's pretty easy taking money and doing the credit card thingy. Checks are a little more time consuming though. First you have to make sure the check number isn't under 500. Then you have to see where the check is from. If it is from close, then you just put it in the drawer. If it is from far away you have to put their license number down. Then there is a list of people who have had bad checks. You have to make sure the check isn't from one of them. The most confusing thing though is the vegetables. There is a certain code you use that will either automatically weigh them or automatically ring up the price. (i.e. for bananas, you put them on the scale and type 4011 and hit enter. It automatically weighs them and puts the price in. But for cucumbers, you don't have to weigh them so you just type in... I think it is 55 but Im not sure.) So that is confusing. Then I actually have to use the loud speaker. I hate doing that. The girl who trained me was really nice and patient, although I thought I learned pretty fast. I mean for my first day (4 hours) I was scanning the groceries, taking the money, bagging, and I think that was all after my first hour. I feel stupid looking for the little skew thingy, but I think after a while I'll get it. The lady who hired me said that I won't have that many hours. Just like two days a week until two of the other girls quit. But the good thing is I get paid every week. At McDonald's I was paid every other week. That sucked. I should have a halfway decent check next Thursday. I'll have about 22 hours in at $5.50 an hour. Now, the downfall is my sister-in-law isn't sure she will be able to take that class she was going to have for 5 weeks straight that would have given me another $100 a week from babysitting. So I might have to look for another job. Hmm... maybe I'll try working at Subway in St. Charles. I'll work in the mornings and have most nights off. I dunno yet. Or maybe I'll see if I can be a cashier at the store next to my house. That way I won't have to use gas up. But first I will have to wait until Kristy finds out whether or not she can take that class. Well Im going to go now. I have to start getting stuff out of my room so I can paint it. Hey Kadie, are you up to painting on Friday perhaps? If not, that's alright. Well, bye for now.
5.9.2004
Posted by:: Jessie J At:: 11:36:48 am
Sorry, it's been a awhile since I have updated this thing. And I really don't have that much to say... heh. I didn't go to church today because I went to bed around 1:30 this morning, then I had my alarm set for 8:00. Well, I woke up at like 5:45 wide awake and just didn't feel like getting up. Well, I reset my alarm to 9:15 but I fell back to sleep and kept hitting my snooze. By the time I got up it was 10:45. Heh.
OOO!!! My parents went to an auction yesterday and I stopped by. I got a big fleece dolphin blanket, a dolphin crystal thingy that lights up, a dolphin 3 piece picture, AND one of those new pictures that looks like it has running water and it makes the water sounds. Yeah, its a dolphin as well. It's so cool! I can't wait until I get my room finished! Well, that is about all I have to say. Bye for now and God Bless!
4.26.2004
Why Take Bible Prophecy Literally? Look At Abram and Sarai... Posted by:: Jessie J At:: 12:23:41 pm
Well, I am reading the book entitled The Merciful God of Prophecy by Tim LaHaye. He brought something to my attention that I sort of... ignored while reading about the lives of Abraham and Sarah... the fact of taking God's word literally instead of trying to make a metaphorical sense out of what He says.
Lets take a look at Genesis 15:5. God promised Abram that his descendants would be as numerous as the stars in the sky. (At that time, Abram was about 75 years old.) Genesis 16:2 - Sarai told Abram to go sleep with her maidservant, Hagar, because perhaps a family could be built through her. (Sarai didn't believe that Abram and her would conceive a child together, since Sarai was barren. In other words, she wasn't taking what God said literally.) v. 5-6 Hagar and Abram conceived a child and Hagar began to despise Sarai. Sarai then started to mistreat her maidservant and Hagar fled. v. 8-12 An angel of the Lord found Hagar near a well and told her to go back to Sarah because she was to have a child and the child's name would be Ishmael who "will be a wild donkey of a man; his hand will be against everyone and everyone's hand will be against him, and he will live in hostility toward all his brothers." Genesis 17 God establishes a covenant (circumcision) with Abram and Abraham became known as Abraham because he would be the "father of many nations." (v. 5) God then promises Abraham: "As for Sarai your wife, you are no longer to call her Sarai; her name will be Sarah. I will bless her and will surely give you a son by her. I will bless her so that she will be the mother of nations; kings of peoples will come from her." (v. 15-16) Abraham then laughs and asks God if a man of 100 and a woman of 90 could conceive a child together. God tells him that Sarah will have a child named Isaac. (v. 19)
Now that we have studied that, let's go to the fact on why we should be taking Bible prophecy literally. The Jews trace their ancestry back to Isaac, while the Arabs trace their ancestry back to Ishmael - the roots of Middle East turmoil. (Now remember, Isaac was the son of Abraham and Sarah... the one promised to them while Ishmael was a result of Sarah telling Abraham to sleep with the maidservant... the result of Sarah not believing God's word literally.) On September 11, 2001, the deadliest terrorst attack in modern day history took place. Nineteen "sons of Ishmael" killed almost 3,000 innocent people. Their associates have declared war on the West and, by use of the most advanced means possible, try to force the world to submit to their acts of hate.* What did the angel of the Lord tell Hagar...? "...his hand will be against everyone and everyone's hand will be against him, and he will live in hostility toward all his brothers." What might have happened if Abraham and Sarah had taken what God said literally instead of in a metaphorical sense? They can teach us to proceed very slowly before deciding that, in order to avoid a highly rediculous scenario, we must interpret Bible prophecy symbolically or metaphorically.**
There will be more examples of Biblical prophecy that happened literally. If you get a chance, pick up that book at the top of this entry. It's very interesting... Bye for now and God Bless...
4.23.2004
Posted by:: Kadie At:: 10:55:21 am
Oh hey, I just thought of something. Has anyone ever heard of Across the Sky? I just saw them in concert (along with Mark Schultz and Avalon). Ohmygoodness, they are awesome, the sursprising part is that their CD is awesome too. It certainly doesn't hurt that both guys are cute either. K, that's it...just another plug.
Posted by:: Kadie At:: 10:46:26 am
I went to the doctor's yesterday to get my test results. I had blood tests, an EKG, and an echocardiogram done and all three came back good. But now my doctor is concerned because he's not really sure what my problem is. He gave me this drug that will stabilize my heart beat, and it will make me very tired. Then I need to have food allergy testing and I have to have a scope done of my upper chest (well, possibly, unless the allergy testing shows an allergy). So, I guess what I'm getting at is that any extra prayer would be greatly appreciated. The worst part was that my nurse yelled at me and gave me a lengthy lecture because I forgot and put lotion on before I went in the office. Whoops....actually I cried because not only did the nurse lecture me but so did my doctor, and I had to wash it off, and I had a reaction to the soap. My arms and neck were totally red, blotchy and burning. But then my mom took me to Olive Garden and the mall. She bought me my "graduation present". Sweetness, especially because I know what it is; I got to pick them out...
4.21.2004
Posted by:: Kadie At:: 10:46:17 am
I'm feeling in the "creative mood", so here goes nothin'.
"Late...I'm gonna be late again" Amber thought as she sped down the interstate in her classic Vette. "This makes for three days in a row. My boss is going to fire me, I just know it." The hot California breeze touseled her cinnamon-colored hair as she slowed to a stop at the end of the exit ramp. Two blocks from her building, it hit her that she already had a headache from a major caffeine deficiency, Amber decided to make a pit stop at Starbucks. "Grande Hazlenut capp, no whip" she rattled off to the pudgy woman standing behind the counter. Her dishevled appearance made it obvious that it had been a fast paced morning in the cramped coffee shop. Walking briskly back to her shiny red convertible with the steaming java, Amber swore to herself that from now on she would set her alarm clock before falling asleep on the couch from sheer exhaustion.
By the time she pulled into the parking lot it was completely full, forcing her to park in the overflow lot. Amber looked down at her brand new stiletto heels. All she could do was shake her head. "Father, I just don't have time for this. Boy, when it rains, it sure does pour" she prayed aloud as she walked across two rather large parking lots. She was still in heavy conversation with the Most High when she bumped into the UPS man. He looked at her quizzically as he asked, "Mornin' ma'am. Can I get the door for you?" At this point Amber could feel a small blister forming on her little toe, "Please and thank you." She smiled the warmest smile she could muster and entered the air conditioned lobby.
Okay, I'm out. I don't know if this is the kind of story you were talking about, Jessie. If it's not, then scratch it and start all over. Really, I won't mind.
4.19.2004
My Thoughts On "The Da Vinci Code" Posted by:: Jessie J At:: 10:13:26 pm
I liked this book... at first. It kept my interest for the first part, then took quite a drastic turn. This book tells about they myth that Jesus Christ had a wife, Mary Magdelane [sp?] and a child named Sarah, and two people's quest to find the Holy Grail (the tomb of Mary) and about secret societies. I HATED IT!!! Then come to find out, the girl in the story is a direct descendant of Jesus Christ, which is also a lie. The book stated through the characters that the New Testament is false testimony and the Church murdered people to keep the secret society, the Priory of Sion, from coming out with the real documents that tells of the so-called "truth" about Jesus Christ. Well, the girl's grandfather, her name is Sophie, was murdered and they had to go through all of these codes that her grandfather left her, since he died slowly, suffering blood loss, I suppose, from being shot in the stomach, which Robert Langdon, the guy in the story, was being accused of. Well, the Church I guess told the grandfather a long time before he died that if he releases these documents (which was supposed to be his job after the 2000 year span of the astronomical sign Pisces was over with) that they will kill his granddaughter, Sophie. Sophie's family, mom, dad, grandmother, and brother, had been killed in a "car accident" which is later found out was planned to open the eyes of the grandfather, and he didn't want Sophie to die so he didn't release the documents. So all of these clues lead them to this place called the Rosslyn Chapel in Scotland where Sophie realizes she has been there and the older lady and the young man running the tours were in fact her grandmother and brother. To protect the family, the grandfather had to tell the cops that they were also in the car when it went in the river, since they were supposed to be, but ended up not going. The grandmother and brother went into hiding. So at the end of the book, Langdon finds out that that wasn't the place that the tomb of Mary was, it was in another place... a famous art museum in London. Well, he falls on his knees and prays to Mary. BLASPHEMOUS!!!
For me to prove my point... I must now retire to my study where I will do an in-depth research for Biblical Scripture. My results will be posted at a later date, but not much later. This is all fresh in my mind, it will be finished...
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