God Im in this place again.
Im trying so hard not to fall
But everything keeps coming down with the rain
And I try so hard I forget to call
Everybody's looking around and wants to be found
And Im just hanging on, I give You all that I am
Everybody's looking around and wants to be found
And Im just hanging on, I give You all that I am
I come to You with all that I am.
I bring to You all that I have.
And all I have is nothing and I keep on trying
And all I want is You
Everybody's looking around and wants to be found
And Im just hanging on, I give You all that I am
Everybody's looking around and wants to be found
And Im just hanging on, I give You all that I am
And Im just hanging on, I give You all that I am
I come to You with all that I am.
I bring to You all that I have.
And all I have is nothing and I keep on trying
And all I want is You
Everybody's looking around and wants to be found
And Im just hanging on, I give You all that I am
Everybody's looking around and wants to be found
And Im just hanging on, I give You all that I am
And I just stand here in the midst of You
I come to You I come with all that I am
And I just stand here in the midst of You
I come to You I come with all that I am
Everybody's looking around and wants to be found
And Im just hanging on, I give You all that I am
Everybody's looking around and wants to be found
And Im just hanging on, I give you all that I am.
I come to You I come with all that I am
And I just stand here in the midst of You
I come to You I come with all that I am
Everybody's looking around and wants to be found
And Im just hanging on, I give You all that I am
Everybody's looking around and wants to be found
And Im just hanging on, I give you all that I am.
All that I am... And Im barely hanging on.
And Im barely hanging on... I give You all that I am
Ok, I think I screwed that up a bit, but you get the drift. It relates to me.. especially the beginning where it says "God Im in this place again, Im trying so hard not to fall, but everything keeps coming down with the rain, and I try so hard I forget to call.." With my uncle dying, it does put me in the place I've been before... many times actually and I am trying hard not to fall. I wasn't close to him at all, but with everything that has happened with our family, it's hard... and it's hard to call out to my Savior at times like these. Especially when I put into aspect that no one really seemed to care. (Kadie, you were in Cedar Point, therefore exempt from all charges... lol) I just really needed someone there and I had no where to turn. I kept asking God "Why?.... Why doesn't anyone care?" Maybe it's because He is telling me to just rely fully on Him instead of always expecting people to be there. I had one person send a card... Thanks Brandi... and to be honest, with all the deaths our family has had, that is the ONLY thing anyone has ever done for me. I thought maybe I was being selfish at first, and maybe I am. But I feel I have a right to be. So what if no one knew who my uncle was... you don't go to funerals because of the person who died... you go for those left behind. Actually one of my friends told me that before and guess what, they didn't seem to care much about what happened last week. It didn't help at all that on the day of the funeral my one uncle decided not to show and my other uncle started yelling at his wife about something stupid. Out of 9 people in my dad's family there are only four left... my dad and his three brothers and now one of those brothers is trying to put a strain in the relationship with the other three. They DO NOT need that right now!!! I don't know how anyone can be so cruel and not even show up for their brother's own funeral. Not to mention my aunt, the one who my other uncle had a confrontation with at the graveside service, decided to yell at my OTHER uncle and call him names and stuff ON THE DAY OF THE FUNERAL because her husband wouldn't go to make the arrangements for the funeral because he had a "job to do up north." IT'S YOUR BROTHER'S DEATH FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!! He needed to be with the family members he has left. I knew that something bad was going to happen that day. Im the one in the family who is usually strong when it comes to things like this, but I think this time, I really had it. Im tired of being strong and always holding in my emotions and being the strength in the family since I am always on my own when it comes to support. I think also Im stressed because last Friday I found out about my uncle, so a ton of people were at my house the whole weekend and I had Kadie's party on Saturday, we cleaned the entire house on Sunday, the showing was Monday, not to mention I went in to school and helped a friend get caught up on stuff, Tuesday was the funeral and I had to work, Wednesday I had to work, Thursday I had to work, but went home sick because I thought I was going to puke, then I felt better and ended up going out to graduation, and today I had to work, as well as tomorrow. Then Im going up north. I just need some time to myself I think. Some time alone with God.. to get my relationship with Him back in order before I start taking matters in to my own hands and making relationships with other people. I guess Im just hanging on. I have to remember what God promises... that He will never leave me nor forsake me. I need to hang on to Him, to cling to Him when no one else seems to care and I have no where to turn. I admit, I was, and am, really hurt about what happened last week, but I think I have to look passed that. I have all that I need in my relationship with Christ. Sometimes I seek for more, but I think that is human nature. We are never satisfied with what we have... we always want more. But Im going to go to Him with all that I have and give Him all that I am... that is all I have left.
And Im barely hanging on... I give You all that I am
Ok, I think I screwed that up a bit, but you get the drift. It relates to me.. especially the beginning where it says "God Im in this place again, Im trying so hard not to fall, but everything keeps coming down with the rain, and I try so hard I forget to call.." With my uncle dying, it does put me in the place I've been before... many times actually and I am trying hard not to fall. I wasn't close to him at all, but with everything that has happened with our family, it's hard... and it's hard to call out to my Savior at times like these. Especially when I put into aspect that no one really seemed to care. (Kadie, you were in Cedar Point, therefore exempt from all charges... lol) I just really needed someone there and I had no where to turn. I kept asking God "Why?.... Why doesn't anyone care?" Maybe it's because He is telling me to just rely fully on Him instead of always expecting people to be there. I had one person send a card... Thanks Brandi... and to be honest, with all the deaths our family has had, that is the ONLY thing anyone has ever done for me. I thought maybe I was being selfish at first, and maybe I am. But I feel I have a right to be. So what if no one knew who my uncle was... you don't go to funerals because of the person who died... you go for those left behind. Actually one of my friends told me that before and guess what, they didn't seem to care much about what happened last week. It didn't help at all that on the day of the funeral my one uncle decided not to show and my other uncle started yelling at his wife about something stupid. Out of 9 people in my dad's family there are only four left... my dad and his three brothers and now one of those brothers is trying to put a strain in the relationship with the other three. They DO NOT need that right now!!! I don't know how anyone can be so cruel and not even show up for their brother's own funeral. Not to mention my aunt, the one who my other uncle had a confrontation with at the graveside service, decided to yell at my OTHER uncle and call him names and stuff ON THE DAY OF THE FUNERAL because her husband wouldn't go to make the arrangements for the funeral because he had a "job to do up north." IT'S YOUR BROTHER'S DEATH FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!! He needed to be with the family members he has left. I knew that something bad was going to happen that day. Im the one in the family who is usually strong when it comes to things like this, but I think this time, I really had it. Im tired of being strong and always holding in my emotions and being the strength in the family since I am always on my own when it comes to support. I think also Im stressed because last Friday I found out about my uncle, so a ton of people were at my house the whole weekend and I had Kadie's party on Saturday, we cleaned the entire house on Sunday, the showing was Monday, not to mention I went in to school and helped a friend get caught up on stuff, Tuesday was the funeral and I had to work, Wednesday I had to work, Thursday I had to work, but went home sick because I thought I was going to puke, then I felt better and ended up going out to graduation, and today I had to work, as well as tomorrow. Then Im going up north. I just need some time to myself I think. Some time alone with God.. to get my relationship with Him back in order before I start taking matters in to my own hands and making relationships with other people. I guess Im just hanging on. I have to remember what God promises... that He will never leave me nor forsake me. I need to hang on to Him, to cling to Him when no one else seems to care and I have no where to turn. I admit, I was, and am, really hurt about what happened last week, but I think I have to look passed that. I have all that I need in my relationship with Christ. Sometimes I seek for more, but I think that is human nature. We are never satisfied with what we have... we always want more. But Im going to go to Him with all that I have and give Him all that I am... that is all I have left.
